Hello 2010, Goodbye Defective Thoughts

A new year is upon us, and as 2010 is sure to bring exciting experiences and possibilities, there will be one fantastic staple missing from your favourites folder.

I quickly learned the fun of detailing the outrageous details of my life on this blog, and am thankful all of my loyal readers who enjoyed following alongside me on my weekly adventures and accounts of the truly defective people I was forced to be surrounded by. 2009 was a crazy year..you got to read about my 5 jobs, 2 months of travelling, Indigenous Rita McNeil, doctors office observations, countless Art Gallery submissions, many housesitting gigs, and lest we forgot the eye witness reports into the lows of retail employment. It was a challenging year, but I was happy to make the best of it and share my "stories" with you all.

Though I love Defective Thoughts and all its glory, I feel like its time to close this turbulant chapter in my life and enjoy 2010 and all the exciting moments it may bring. It will be a difficult transition not having DT as my outlet for venting on such as issues as why the cafe employee and her battered soul feel it is a bright idea to cut her hair and spike it into frosted tips, or to share workplace stories such as the other day, I was getting annoyed with a near by coworkers exhagerated use of a "loud mouse and track ball" that I snuck into her cubicle at lunch time and switched it out for a quiet model. "I don't remember my mouse being black?". Poor Tish Kwan.

I thank you again for your witty comments and support over the past year, and I hope you will find comfort in a new and upcoming blog that is similar to this one (as if).

But, for some last time bliss, here is a top 10 list of 2009's moments... Enjoy!


Toughest Moment: Convincing Home Outfitters to employ me.
Funniest Moment: Watching Indigenous Rita McNeil self destruct.
Greatest OMG: Explaining to my Mom that I didn't need to check into rehab for eating a box of chocolate liquers.
Biggest Releif: Getting a job interview.
Ooopsie Moment: Accidentally knocking over my future Home outfitters manager's coffee all over her desk in my interview.
Rockbottom Moment: Sept 2009, contemplating transfering to the Bay downtown.
Most Fantastic Day: Beach Days in Croatia.
Best Quote of 2009: "You can't afford to have a bad attitude.. Its a recession" -Home Outfitters manager.

Once again, its been a slice, I hope you have enjoyed, who knows where I would be today had I not used DT as a ventilator.. I might be in the Psych ward right now.

I hope you all feel entertained, much love.

Xoxo
B

Deck The Halls!

I know how disappointed my loyal readers must be right now.. so many days.. so few posts. Have no fear my sweets, I'm back.

Today was my final day shift of community service, aka. last day of retail work. Since giving in my notice of resignation two weeks ago, things have been running pretty smoothly at work, for example, I can now rest easy after reprimanding customers for rude behavior because I know that I won't be fired, or.. I can stir the emotional pots of my fellow co-workers and suffer little to no consequences. When I arrived this morning, I was first greeted with the cheerful booms of Christmas music rumbling over the intercom.. celebrating the birth of Jesus seven weeks in advance..I don't even celebrate my birthday that early! I took this as a sign that God was making one last attempt to worsen my final day in retail by forcing me to listen to Christmas music for 8 hours straight. Props to Allah for you always knowing how to press my buttons. This just made me even more grateful for finding a new job, one that doesn't force these magically delightful sound waves on my ears... "who could handle listening to this at work from now until the actual holidays?" I pondered. I learned that the depressing drones I work with will have to. I quickly decided to make the best of my day, and was even singing and whistling along to the joyus melodies of Elvis, Beyonce, and even Jsimps' versions of all our favorite seasonal tidings to spite the coworkers around me who would be stuck with them forever. Greg, the newbie employee, slash disappointment to the human race grumbled in anger as we were forced to work together today.. my multiple requests for our separation were promptly ignored by my manager. I soon realized that the Christmas music was perhaps an emotional trigger to his battered youth, when he asked me when I stopped celebrating Christmas. "You mean when did I stop believing in Santa?" I replied. "No, like when did you stop decorating a tree, and opening presents, and celebrating with your family?" he asked. "... Umm, I never did?" I replied with a confused slash condescending tone. He then told me that when he was six his mother "killed Christmas" and he hasn't celebrated since. After further inappropriate prodding, he explained that his absent father left them with little money, and thus they couldn't afford the holidays. "Not even the holiday spirit?" I asked. "Not even the tree" Greg replied. At this point my retail bestie, slash Polish second grandmother spoke up, further cementing the reasons why I attached myself to her hip over the past few months, "You know, absent father or not, trees can be cut down from the wilderness for free." She then started discussing how she would prefer if they played Christmas music of the "Reggae" variety instead.. her personal favorite. Little did I know, this kind of music actually existed, and when it came on the intercom soon after, we danced to the Reggae as we upstocked duvet covers.. me at the top of the ladder, and Polska at the bottom.... too bad Greg was such a scrooge, he just got to watch how much fun Christmas could be.

Overall, my final day was quite a success, and I promised to return for a shopping spree to visit my few favorite peers, and chat with my unfortunate foes for prime blogging material. As a farewell gift to myself, I made sure to drop a few stray seeds of fabricated gossip upon my departure, something tells me that Trashy and Sarah's seemingly solid friendship won't make it through the weekend... Whoopsie!, Oh B, You the F'n best.


B

Sighting!

Which Calgarian, turned Vancouver enthusiast was spotted canoodling with the cast of Twilight last night? She was spotted at the Twilight Eclipse wrap up party at the local Aquarium, sipping on complimentary Grey Goose whilst rubbing shoulders with the blood sucking wannabe Vampires.

I wonder what she would think if she read this story a mere couple months ago when the two of us openly bashed the Twilight series like it was the Swine Flu's evil twin. No news reports have surfaced as of yet, but lets hope she confronted Kstew in the bathroom and punched her in the face like we both fantasized about doing should we ever get the opportunity.

..Story developing.

B

Don't Hate Me

B, checking in!
My apologies for the lack of posts on DT, and I don't have any amazing excuses as to why.. perhaps my finger tips are just on vacation? That, or the fact that I am simply too overwhelmed with my "occupation" and in turn the hunt for a new occupation that has been occupying my mind. That, or simply the thought sharing with you all about how "Trashy" has wiggled her way into the limelight at work, or how my unstoppable love of Mars bars has led to petty theft.

On a lighter note, lets talk about the exciting holiday season approaching.. that being Halloween! I want to hear all about your costumes.. or most importantly, what you all want B to B for the big event!?!

I consider ALL suggestions!

Sleep well,
B

Sports Highlight

OK, so any sort of reference to athletics as been less than void from DT's pages over the past year.. that was until I heard that Rosedale's own, 526, was competing in an 8km sprint, through the streets of Victoria, British Columbia this weekend. In fact, this berry picking enthusiast is missing a homestyle Thanksgiving dinner for the cause..

Let's all wish 526 good luck..sorry for BBM'ing you into the wee hours last night, some of us choose alcohol as our hobbies!

B

Thanks JC

News Flash!
VD is back to her outrageous blogging ways.. new city, new stories, new adventures.. So exciting!
Click HERE HERE and HERE to access her blog, for instant laughs. Now, enough blogging for one night, 90210 and MP aren't going to watch themselves!

B

Trimming The Fat

Good evening readers, I hope you are all getting excited for Thanksgiving, and to any Americans who might be reading this, disregard any future comments about turkey, over eating, fat trimming, or anything festive for that matter.

This Thanksgiving, I propose instead of listing those (boring) things we are thankful for, we take a good hard look at what might be standing between ourselves and mediocre-complete happiness, and find a way to cut these toxic inconveniences out of our lives... or, in festive speak, Trimming The Fat. Let me tell you about one of my "toxic inconveniences" which may better explain how fat trimming in life will lead to a fulfillment only realized after trimming excess, or better yet, over kill. For example, a new employee at work, lets call her "Trashy", decided that during her third shift she would report me to management, for taking breaks longer than I was supposed to. Too bad for Trashy, that I had HR and Management wrapped around my under-worked finger months ago. "Excuse me? I'm not entirely sure where you get your information from, but we are allowed 30 minutes breaks, and I take 30 minute breaks.. but thanks for your concern" I responded, after hearing her chatter from behind a pyramid of merchandise, which for some reason she figured I couldn't hear..around?.. or through? I'm not quite sure. Yes, she was completely right about me abusing break time, as I took well over 40 minutes for lunch, but this newbie needs to pick her timing.. and her battles.. As further punishment, I gave her the silent treatment for the rest of the day, except of course for when I passed her on the way out to the parking lot, and told her to "have an amazing Thanksgiving." Its not my fault that she is such a joke. Lets hope Trashy is reviewing the days events and learning from her mistakes as she lays awake in her trailer tonight. I know she lives in a trailer park because the first day I met her, she was telling a crowd of senseless employees about how the wind was so powerful the previous night, that it was shaking her house and keeping her from sleeping. "Wow, I didn't know a house could literally shake and not fall apart?" I asked, prodding at the issue, in hopes she would further elaborate on the unacceptable living arrangements she seemed to eager to chat about. "Well I live in a trailer park" she replied. Yes please! is exactly what my insta-grin communicated when I heard this.




As the big holiday approaches, I will continue to trim the unnecessary annoyances from my life in hopes that all that will be left, is the delicious turkey meat (aka. eternal happiness), or at least, over snipped morals.

B