Gum Isnt Glue

Today I learned numerous life lessons, most of which the majority of the population understood many years ago in grade school. In an attempt to be more proactive on the employment front, I decided today would be an nice afternoon to walk downtown to drop my applications for the City of Calgary at the employment drop box. I envisioned a nice stroll along the river, and perhaps I would treat myself to some kind of summer snack along the way. After spending a considerable portion of my day weighing the pro's and con's of registering for a twitter account, I got into my summer cloths and was out the door, ready for my adventure to begin. Not being discouraged by the rumbling black clouds in the distance, I began my trek downtown. Well, one thing led to another, and around the time that I was furthest from any kind of indoor retreat the downpour began. I was forced to fold my resumes into my clothing to protect the precious non-waterproof computer ink, which divulged my oh-so precious skills and ambitions. I spent the next thirty minutes attempting to navigate the plus-15 walking system, rationalizing that "all walkways MUST lead to City Hall." It wasn't long before I gave up on my sense of direction, and returned to the streets. Upon reaching my destination, in worse condition than a cat being swept away by a polluted river, I was quite enthused to see my City working cousin "LiTea". "Don't mind my appearance" I shamefully insisted. I wanted her to know that I wasn't expecting a face-face interview wearing flip flops and my summer wear, and that instead I was using the anonomys drop box which thankfully concealed the applicants fashion sense, or common sense.

After spending a delightful moment discussing my chances of landing any of the positions posted, and weighing the likihood of me getting the one that paid $125,000, we started chatting about how much fun my stampede season has been. I explained my financial situation, and how I basically had been living the life of a homeless person since returning to Canada. "I have like $100, all of which was loaned to me." I admitted. It was around this time that my flip flop broke into two pieces, and I almost began to cry. This is when I learned the fact that gum doesnt work like glue. It was all LiTea's idea, and I shamefully gave it a shot, which was a huge disaster. "How am I going to get home?" I wailed. LiTea suggested I stop over at Winners downtown, but I admitted I didn't bring money, a strategy I've been using lately to help curb my spending habits. This of course was one of those emergencies, that I didn't think actually would happen. I told LiTea to go back to her office, so there was zero chance of her being associated with a soaking wet, barefooted peasant. We bid farewell, and I began to shuffle out of City Hall, wondering how far I could drag my one foot inside a disintegrated flip flop. It was about 2 meters, and then the sandal flipped upside down almost causing me to slide into a gutter. It was about this time that I wish I was at home eating the small fortune of crispy mini's I purchased last night. I took out my blackberry and dialed my father, instructing him that I could be found outside City Hall in a gutter, in the exact opposite situation he would hope to find his only son to be in.

On a lighter note, I have an interview with a large home furnishings and accessory store on friday, a place I applied at in hopes that I could use the discount to furnish my future apartment- a place that will likely never exist at this rate.

B