My Life In Shambles

Its been just about one week since I have arrived back in Canada after my traveling adventures overseas- and like most travelers out there, you know that returning back to your normal life back home can be quite depressing, compared of course to the exciting weeks you just spent in a different country. My trip has left me "financially strapped" to put things lightly, and perhaps the worst culture shock I experienced over the past few months, was having my debit card declined due to "insufficient funds" at Safeway, shamefully resulting in me leaving empty handed. One might think that being at the self checkout counter might be less humiliating, until of course you have to inform the oh-so helpful staff member desperately trying to figure out why the transaction wont go through, that you need to surrender the basket of groceries to her, and that you wont be running to your car for an alternative payment option.

As the days passed on, and the weather put a hex on my original activities I had envisioned for my week, those being catching some rays in the backyard to reclaim my Croatia color which was scalded away by the African sun, I began to realize that the homeless person lifestyle I had come to know and love for its acceptance overseas simply wouldn't cut it back home. I needed a plan. I immediately consulted an episode of "Til' Debt do us Part" for guidance, and unfortunately this catapulted me into marathon of "Bulging Brides", not a complete waste of time, but sufficient enough to mention. What I did learn from the fraction of educational content included, was that I needed to outline a set of goals, and eventually, tackle the actual execution of efforts. I compiled a small list of goals, obviously descending in order of likeliness to come to fruition.

1. Prepare a relatively healthy meal for dinner.
2. Search the internet for prospective part time jobs.
3. E-mail my resume to the family computer, so I can use the printer to deliver my resumes.
4. Perhaps put my relationship with Tivo on hold.
5. Have a garage sale of whatever I need to sell to the pay off my debts to Visa.
6. Become an intermediate Tennis player.
7. Secure full time employment.
8. Move out by September 1.

After completing the list, I began to get stressed out. "As if any of these are possible" I groaned. I pulled myself together, and began gathering enough change from around desk drawers and table tops in my room to purchase some polysporin for my mysterious "yet to heal" wounds still lingering from my travels. I wanted to call 311.. my own version of 911, as it frankly answers all of my prayers, and has been rather helpful in past predicaments. I remember less fondly, around two years ago as I was frantically driving around an Industrial park in Calgary, disturbingly close to missing a job interview. My immediate reaction to being lost was to call 311. "311, How can I help you?".. "Hi, I need some help, I'm lost, I have a job interview in 4 minutes, can you help me please?" Being quite unhelpful the woman explained to me that it wasn't a personal emergency service, and that she couldn't help me. "Could you just look up the number of the interview office, and tell them that I am coming but might be late!" I reasoned, in a last ditch attempt to solve my problem. I cant remember if she responded, or simply hung up, but typically this route of crisis managment works wonders.

Since the completion of the list, X many days ago, I have begun to pull together the strength to at least prepare to get prepared to start getting the wheels of my future in motion, and despite discovering new excuses every day to prolong the period needed to recover from jet lag, I am slowly getting myself back on track.

B