What If?

As my appreciation for being semi-employed diminishes, and the desire to find a more exciting and potentially more shameful position at a "impossible to respect" establishment grows, I have been finding myself asking so many "what if's" throughout my encounters during the day. For example, while standing around at my work station at my restaurant job, hungry as ever.. I wondered.. "what if I reached over this spindly divider and took a piece of lobster ravioli to help subside my lingering desire for food. Would it be OK if I kindly explained the situation, and that I have never tried lobster ravioli and wanted to branch out?" As I slowly strolled home after work, eating my delicious muffin that I justified purchasing because they forgot to cut me from work and I earned a bonus half hour in wages I thought.. "What If I quit my terrible post at this restaurant and pursued my real dreams of working as a muffin seller at mmmuffins?" Sure the wage couldn't be desirable, but the unlimited access to a variety of flavors of muffins would make up for this. I began wondering if I could earn enough tips from exceptional muffin sales using my personal charm and undying devotion to the product.

When I turned on my Tivo, I saw it taped some shows for me it thought I would enjoy, based on the smutty shows I choose to record. When I saw a one hour episode of "Party of Five" on the screen, I thought "What If I watched it?, even for a few moments?.. or just until the first commercial break? If Tivo thought I would like it, why shouldnt I?" I have never seen this show before, and quickly realized that Tivo had made a very bad mistake. Very bad. This made me very self concious about the shows I do like to watch, and ask Tivo to record for me. "What kind of person does Tivo think I am?" Sure, The Real Housewives of Orange Country is smutty reality TV, but come on, this was pretty awful- and the line needs to be drawn someplace. As the day grew to a close, I found myself barley making it through my fitness class at the University. Yes, a fitness class. As I was attempting to finish my last set of mat exercises, I thought, "What If.. I just layed back and just stared at the ceiling, would the instructor care? Would the people around me think I was a lazy sack of crap, who was just taking this class to feel like I was making healthy choices?" I then realized that if I saw someone lying on the mat and staring at the ceiling this is exactly what I would think of them. I might even whisper to my friends about them, or even try to get the instructors attention so that they would see how lazy that person was. This was the realization that helped me slide through the rest of the session like a champ.

I think that these "What If's" are what get me in the outrageous situations in life, (ie. "What IF I started a Blog?") and I will continue to mostly focus on the pro's and neglect the con's of each instance, to ensure the success of this website.




B